I was privileged to speak with Pastor Lola Moore, a woman in Ministry, on a brisk spring morning via FaceBook... at 4am. I had a couple of questions that had been on my mind for a while, and I thought, who better to ask than someone who's life's episode was currently tuned into the same experiences that I was wondering about?
I asked Pastor Moore about "The whole- 'Single Women in Minsitry' Shebang", where I wanted to know what were some of the challenges that she faced being a single female Pastor on the ministry front. I also asked her if she was worried, or found herself asking the Lord when the right time would be for her in regards to finding a mate. She was more than kind enough to privilege me with her response, and was also more than happy to allow me to share it right here. So y'all are getting first hand experience on what it's like out there from a primary source! This was Pastor Lola's response:
I'm single but I have colleagues who are not. Either can be difficult. I personally think singleness is a blessing and a curse in ministry. It's a blessing to be able to travel and do as I'm called to. Not to have to answer for late nights, early mornings, etc. However, I carry the stress of leadership alone. No one to vent to. No one who will have my back when I make mistakes or preach a horrible sermon.
On the flip, my married colleagues are called upon to balance their churches and their families. They must be mom to their kids at home AND their kids at church. They are moms so they have to be as loving and supportive as your mom AND run a church. The call is HIGH!
So, your journey will have similarities as well as unique experiences. My advice is to stay EXTRA CLOSE to Jesus!!! He will help you navigate the unique journey He has planned."
I then asked Pastor Moore this question:
And this was her response, and a very wise approach, if I may say the least:
Wow. What a perspective. Often times, we find ourselves craving the superficial face values of relationships that we forget about the broader spectrum of what the end result should be. Before God can send men their "helpmeet", He has to make sure they're absolutely geared up for what they are about to get into.
First thing is always first. We must begin asking these questions to ourselves, and wait patiently for the Lord to impress His convictions upon us. We must ask Him to reveal the issues that we need to deal with that we aren't too ready to accept in order to prepare us as women winning souls for the Kingdom, and also to prepare us as perfect women for our men. Before Yahweh can send you someone who is good for you, you must in turn be good for him. At this stage in our lives, many of us women serve the purpose of being a better stumbling block, tripping up our men, and as an obstacle to distract and divert our men from achieving and attending to the higher callings in their lives. Others are set-ups, luring men in with sensuality and trapping them with lust disguised as love. We MUST strive to be better women. Actually, let me not say the word "strive" because that implies "trying". We must not "try" to be better women, we must BE better women. They do say that you often attract what you exude, so let us emit the character of God, excrete the ambitions of a woman with a purpose, conceal our hormone induced sensuality, and acquire the ability to wait upon the Lord not solely on the basis of relationships, but be able to truly trust Him enough to believe that He will make decisions that are of the best intentions.
-Alda.
*Courtesy of Pastor Lola Moore
-Thank You for sharing your perspective.
I asked Pastor Moore about "The whole- 'Single Women in Minsitry' Shebang", where I wanted to know what were some of the challenges that she faced being a single female Pastor on the ministry front. I also asked her if she was worried, or found herself asking the Lord when the right time would be for her in regards to finding a mate. She was more than kind enough to privilege me with her response, and was also more than happy to allow me to share it right here. So y'all are getting first hand experience on what it's like out there from a primary source! This was Pastor Lola's response:
- "Ministry is interesting as a person. The difference in gender isn't felt by me. It's felt by those I minister to. Same as being a woman in college. No felt difference by you, you're just in school. Make sense? I'm just in ministry...doing what I was born to do. Now, my colleagues tend to pastor differently. I'm more of a "new/young mother" with my congregation. They're "on my hip" as I handle business. I want to know if the church is spiritually healthy; are the people growing in Jesus? I'm proud and giddy over little things. I have to discipline them sometimes. Guys don't traditionally do that- they see the church more as a machine. A car even. They want to put hydraulics on it...make it BIG and fast...lol! They are into fast, undeniable growth. I'm into slow, organic growth. I think all ladies are different but I've seen the dynamic manifested in several ladies.
I'm single but I have colleagues who are not. Either can be difficult. I personally think singleness is a blessing and a curse in ministry. It's a blessing to be able to travel and do as I'm called to. Not to have to answer for late nights, early mornings, etc. However, I carry the stress of leadership alone. No one to vent to. No one who will have my back when I make mistakes or preach a horrible sermon.
On the flip, my married colleagues are called upon to balance their churches and their families. They must be mom to their kids at home AND their kids at church. They are moms so they have to be as loving and supportive as your mom AND run a church. The call is HIGH!
So, your journey will have similarities as well as unique experiences. My advice is to stay EXTRA CLOSE to Jesus!!! He will help you navigate the unique journey He has planned."
I then asked Pastor Moore this question:
- Do you find it difficult to not "worry" about the Lord sending you the man you're supposed to be with?
I mean, we all know that "good things come to those who wait upon the Lord" and all that jazz, but that doesn't make it any easier on us when we really don't have any conception of the timing of God?
And this was her response, and a very wise approach, if I may say the least:
- "I don't worry about God sending the right person. I recognize that, had I been more patient, "he" may have already been here. The process is less about God sending him as it is about God preparing me! Am I ready to be a good wife, in light of my calling, to the man God has designated? Am I ready to be doubly yoked as Pastor and mother? Am I willing to care for my husband and handle the business of the church? The right one will come, but am I ready to be the right one for him?"
Wow. What a perspective. Often times, we find ourselves craving the superficial face values of relationships that we forget about the broader spectrum of what the end result should be. Before God can send men their "helpmeet", He has to make sure they're absolutely geared up for what they are about to get into.
First thing is always first. We must begin asking these questions to ourselves, and wait patiently for the Lord to impress His convictions upon us. We must ask Him to reveal the issues that we need to deal with that we aren't too ready to accept in order to prepare us as women winning souls for the Kingdom, and also to prepare us as perfect women for our men. Before Yahweh can send you someone who is good for you, you must in turn be good for him. At this stage in our lives, many of us women serve the purpose of being a better stumbling block, tripping up our men, and as an obstacle to distract and divert our men from achieving and attending to the higher callings in their lives. Others are set-ups, luring men in with sensuality and trapping them with lust disguised as love. We MUST strive to be better women. Actually, let me not say the word "strive" because that implies "trying". We must not "try" to be better women, we must BE better women. They do say that you often attract what you exude, so let us emit the character of God, excrete the ambitions of a woman with a purpose, conceal our hormone induced sensuality, and acquire the ability to wait upon the Lord not solely on the basis of relationships, but be able to truly trust Him enough to believe that He will make decisions that are of the best intentions.
-Alda.
*Courtesy of Pastor Lola Moore
-Thank You for sharing your perspective.
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